hey 27, it’s nice to meet you

It’s a blessing and a curse having a January birthday. Half of your friends are doing a dry January (one of my best friends always starts her post my bday-thank you!) and a lot people are worn out from the marathon that is the holiday season. However, I have this cool thing where I live the full calendar year as one age, and as the new year begins, so do I.

And man does turning 27 feel weird as fuck. It’s an age where my ego is like, “bitch you’re getting ollllld- you’re basically 30 and need to start settling, making babies, getting your series regular etc.” In reality, I know age is only a number and shouldn’t inhibit how you want to live your life. *Easier said than done with societal pressures and outside judgements but I have a solution for that, just hold tight for a moment. Let me give you a brief back story of 2017, aka the age of 26.

I set out at the beginning of last year to really open up my heart. To let myself be loved by others. The funny thing about me is that I’m excellent at giving love out, but when it comes to receiving and accepting that same love I have guards up to not get hurt. Which I realized was really silly. So, I wanted to open that heart UP. And boy did I– I went on dates, had some hookups, some ‘relationships’, a true relationship I thought would be more long-term and at the end of the year/beginning of the new, I am single.

So did I fail?!

Not one bit- I might not have the relationship I thought I’d go into the new year with, BUT I have something a whole lot better. More self worth, a lot more confidence and a motherfucking bounty of love from my friends and family.

I let them love me hard. Love, help me, listen to me in a way that was new. It was with an open heart from my end. And that is the true win of 26. Yes I booked some fun gigs and advanced my wine career, but at the core I really did open my heart.

There’s that saying that you have to put out in the world what you want to receive. And just like a rocket launched into space course corrects a million times before landing on the moon, this year of opening my heart happened. And happened in huge way. I let the universe work its magic (and yes I’m relating opening my heart to launching a rocket into space) and landed on the moon in a way I didn’t think was possible: single but feeling more loved than ever. My friends and family you are THE BEST. Words cannot express my gratitude for you, but if you’re reading this know that I would hand you my last LaCroix/first-bite my food/shower you with kisses and hugs.

Now back to that *! With opening my heart last year I became a lot more self-conscious. Shit got vulnerable and scary. I gave a lot more fucks what some people thought, but in areas of life that their opinion shouldn’t matter one iota. Moral of the story and what y’all should practice: GIVE LESS DUCKS!! Not a typo (and not that I don’t love the power of a well placed fuck) but ducks keep it a little lighter. Easier to take yourself seriously enough, but not so seriously that your friends start to worry.

So here’s the 2018 (the age of 27) where I aim to:

  • GIVE LESS DUCKS ABOUT THE OPINIONS AND THOUGHTS OF OTHERS (as in always listen to friends, but give up the need to please them and let go of the possible judgement)
  • PRACTICE ‘I AM FULL OF ABUNDANCE’ AS A MANTRA (as in knowing my life is full of wonderful things and putting out that energy to attract more abundant opportunities)
  • THINK-WHAT GOES UP CAN GO HIGHER (as in trying to think of the hope for the best possible outcome instead of the worst- why not put it out there? I promise you’re strong enough to handle the worst, so why not put the best shit out there to the good old universe?!)
  • PURSUE WHAT’S MAKING MY EYES LIGHT UP (as in, yes I can start do a wine 101 show and do a podcast and keep acting in the S is for Revenge because it fulfills me- try to do less of what drains you and aim to find the things that make your eyes light up and keep at it!)
  • SMILE MORE (as in spread the love to more strangers, keep my opening up my heart!!)

 

Happy New Year all, may your wine glasses always be half full (or completely full) and your hearts OPEN!

 

xxNP